Thursday, September 24, 2015

You Can Sit With Me

As a child I always had a heart for making others feel accepted. I was the first to ask the new girl if she wanted to sit with me. I found one of my most meaningful friendships by starting a conversation with a girl who also happened to be alone during our college campus tour. I remember being so nervous about being accepted in my husband's group of friends who were all in relationships. I really wanted them to like me, they were all in sororities and I wasn't. I was nervous about whether or not they'd accept me as the new girlfriend. I became giddy when they asked me to sit with them at the flag football game. When the next girlfriend came along, I would immediately ask them over, trying to eliminate as much of that anxiety for them as I could. I was always the girl who said, "you can sit with us!".
Moving to a new city and trying to build new friendships has proven to be challenging. I haven't had to sit by and wait to be "asked out" in a long time. All the time I've spent feeding, watering and growing the relationships back home had left me a little lazy. Thinking I should be the one who gets asked out, because you know, I'm me. I've got these amazing friends back home and I don't "need" anyone to ask me to sit next to them because I've got that back home. My puffed up view of myself as being this great friend,YOU should want to get to know ME. I should not have to beg anyone to be MY friend. Well, God has a way of bringing us back to reality as well as softening our hearts. Those moments came to me this past weekend at my church women's retreat in Breckenridge, CO.
As I sit around a group of beautiful women before it's my turn to share, I think "well I'm over that whole NEED friends thing". It's my turn and the feelings creep up like a bad habit. I ugly cry describing what it's like being here without friends and family. "Oh Lord, I thought I was over this, now you got me crying like a wimp in front of these people". The word was brought to us from 1 John 1:1-10. The word fellowship comes up and we talk about what it means.

With the most beautiful background, conversation with amazing women and only 24 hours, God renews the little girl in me.The one who reaches out for true fellowship. I can't expect to make lasting connections without making the effort. Sit back and wait to be asked out. Although I have been suppressing it for fear of "coming on too strong", it's really not in my personality to sit on the side lines for friends. I have always been the friend maker and God reminded me that He made me that way for a reason, not everyone is comfortable with doing that. I am an extrovert and it comes in handy for things like moving to a new city. I am so excited to get to know the women of my church and fellowship with them the way Christ intended. I hope you all are having a great week and HAPPY FALL!!!!!!!!!
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