Thursday, June 25, 2015

Mom Life

I always remember thanking God that I wasn't a man. The stress of providing for a family or being the head of the house hold has never seemed appealing to me. The call that God has for their life (Esphesians 5:23), I always thought seemed like a lot. As I am settling more into my roll as wife and mother, I realize there are some stressors that maybe I didn't see coming. Now of course, there is NOTHING else I'd rather be doing than being a wife to my husband and a mother to Noelle. But I have struggled with some emotions I never expected to have. Unlike the baby blues I experienced, these feelings and emotions don't seem like they will ever go away. It will just be a matter of praying and dealing with them in a way that makes them manageable.  

 Being a woman is amazing and I thank God for placing me here in this roll. I totally feel like shouting "hear me roar" in my "Rosie the Riveter" stance but some stuff you just can't get away from. Like all or most things, there are remedies, for the curse of Eve, labor pains, there's a needle in the back for that (though I wish there was just an app). A monthly period, there's a pill or device to keep those away, and thank God for Motrin and heating pads. But the constant pressure felt with being a Wife and a Mom, how do you get rid of that? The saying "A Mother's work is never done" is far from just a phrase, it is #TRUTH! I recall people asking me while I was pregnant if I was ready for this? Picture 3 children running in circles and screaming. My response was always the same, they don't come out like that and God willing, we'll do one at a time. Now Tj and I laughed about how overwhelmed I feel with the laundry and the fact that I call myself wanting 3 children (the irony of this post may be quite entertaining if we ever get to be a family of five). The feelings can range from, "why do I get on Pinterest, I feel like an awful mother because I don't do any of those creative things with Noelle". Or," should I blog while Noelle is sleeping or clean up this place?". Why is there always so much laundry and how it is possible that I complain that I have nothing to wear? Sometimes I worry that Noelle isn't getting enough "educational time". Does she watch too much TV, am I reading to her enough? These feeling can be multiplied if you are a working mother. 

When I returned from my maternity leave, I felt different. Being a pediatric nurse is the most rewarding job, and doing it as a mom adds something to you, something good. I was told by several of my colleagues that things would change for me and I didn't see it until one day. I floated to the oncology unit and there was a girl who had her arm amputated because of her cancer. She was only about 3 years old and I remember thinking how that mom must have felt. She had given birth to this healthy baby girl and then this. All I could picture was how I would kiss Noelle's hand while I was breastfeeding her and how this mother could have never imagined that hand being gone. It was enough for me to lose it in the car on the way home. The job also brings perspective, there is nothing like complaining about coming to work and then taking care of my patient's and their families who wouldn't let a complaint leave their lips.  There is no job like being a mother. God gives us new meaning when he trusts us with his most precious gifts. It is so easy to get in the habit of comparing ourselves to other mom's, one whose blogs we follow (myself included). But God equipped us with exactly what we need for our angels. Even comparing children, as much as we may not want to admit it, happens. Noelle just began to walk within the last week at 16 months. I'd see other children younger than her began to walk and I'd ask myself if I was doing enough to help her.

Having a supportive husband to talk to is so important but taking a step back and asking God to remove feelings of inadequacy is most important. I struggle with being present with Noelle by getting distracted with my phone. I have made it a point to put my phone away when I get home from work. I want to create more times in the day when my phone is off limits. This summer I will make it a point to make more adventures with Noelle, more trips to the park, more crafting, more play dates. I know I can't do all 8,000 things that I've pinned on Pinterest but I know that I can learn, improve and grow as her mom and I know that God will give me the strength to be the type of mother I want to be. Mistakes will be made, Noelle may repeat a bad word that she heard from her mama but the love I have for her, she will know it and feel it. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Father's Day

Father's Day was great, with Noelle making out like bandit! We went to church that morning and Noelle made the cutest Father's Day craft for her Dad. After church we went to Tj's favorite restaurant in Denver, Ted's. It is all things Bison and I (again) got the best salad EVER! Tj took a nap after we got home. 

Now I'll tell you about Noelle's Father's Day. Immediately following church, before lunch, we stopped by Toys R Us to reload Noelle on toys. After stopping home to put them all together we went to Elitch Gardens (an amusement park) in downtown Denver and Nelly rode all the kiddie rides until her hearts desire.

Noelle has a very deceiving "I'm having the time of my life" face. Because you may think that she just thinks something is "cool" or "no big deal", but as soon as it's time to get off, she's gonna flip out! We were able to keep her calm after a few rides, when she knew she'd be getting on another one. 

Did I mention Noelle is walking? Eeekkkk!

Hope all you Dad's had a great day!!

Thursday, June 18, 2015

5 Year Anniversary Celebration In D.R

God has been so merciful and his blessings upon our lives never ceases to amaze me. Traveling has always been our favorite thing to do since our first trip together to the Bahamas while dating for 2 months. Being married to him has opened my eyes to so many things that I could have never imagined God would do for me. Besides constantly being reminded that I married the most amazing man, I get to see the world with him. We get to experience God's wonders and appreciate all that we have here living in America. Tj and I will be celebrating 5 years of marriage at the end of this month. We have been beyond blessed to spend our anniversary in different parts of the country and world every year. This year we celebrated a little early and invited our parents along for the ride. And because they were to come, we couldn't leave Nelly behind this time. Unfortunately my parents ran into some road blocks regarding their passports and weren't able to make it. Tj's parents made the trip so Nelly got another stamp in her little blue book. This year the destination was the Dominican Republic. 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Estes Park

Here's what we've been up to lately! This past weekend we headed to Estes Park to see what we could get into during the spring time, really I was on the hunt for Moose. Sadly we saw none and everyone I asked seemed to be clueless, and they called themselves "Park Rangers". Deliver me a Moose or remove your badge. Sorry, I really wanna see one. BUT they were able to help us point out some Big Horn Sheep and the Elk were all around for everyone to enjoy. First stop was fooooooood!


It was such an incredibly beautiful day! As we got closer to top of the mountain where it continues to snow year round, the height of the snow at the side of the roads is pretty impressive. And let me just say, if you are in ANY sense of the word scared of heights, don't you ever bring your happy self to this place! With no railing Tj (the driver) and I (the backseat driver) were calling the name of Jesus. You will get your life real fast, you've been warned!

On the way down the mountain I got a little nutty and I got my happy self out the car to get a better picture of some Elk grazing. But, there was a lady on the side of the road too and she was much closer than I was so if anything happened…I'm just saying. I promise I don't plan on being on an episode of "When Animals Attack"! When I do see my Moose, I will back back and give them 50 feet (remember  that song?), or maybe 50 yards!

On Sunday after church we had the pleasure of helping out the student ministry with their summer kick off. It was all fun and games, Noelle also enjoyed her first popsicle and oreo!